Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Maybe I'll Be a Whore

Entre todas las malas películas que he visto este verano, no hay otra como Finding Amanda, la historia de un hombre (Matthew Broderick, who is definitely not as cute today as he was as Ferris) que va por su sobrina a Vegas, donde ha estado trabajando como prostituta. Claro que al pasar la movie, nos demuestran que la sobrina tuvo una jaded childhood, que un pariente abusaba de ella, y que está buscando amor verdadero, bla, bla, bla...Pero no es tanto el enfoque en eso como en el éxito que tiene la niña como working girl. Tiene su casa grande, novio mantenido, y buen carro convertible. And so you wonder...should I be a whore?
No lo tienen que tomar muy literal. En mi caso, estaba platicando con un amigo (hola Choco) sobre su recent musical success, diciéndole que su música (que, honestamente, no he oído más que una canción) es pop. Él me reclamó que no, es rock pop (nótese el rock antes que pop). Que pop se escucha "plástico", and he doesn't wanna be plastic. Pero bueno, putting aside the fact that Michael Jackson and Madonna made pop a respectable genre, hace un buen punto. Vivimos tratando de evitar ser categorizados con nombres que nos parecen malos, que nos dan pena...Supongo que cuando eres músico, you'd rather not be labeled as a pop star. 
De ahí surgió el tema de querer ser famoso y rico. Él me dijo, "Keep writing and you will." Yo de broma dije que si sigo escribiendo, nunca seré rica. Pero entonces él me contestó que aplique la de Jo Rowling (autora de Harry Potter, para los que viven en una cueva). Va, yo soy una Pottermaniac y lo he sido desde que leí el primer libro en el 2000, pero a pesar de mi fanatismo, as a serious writer, you don't want to be labeled as the next Jo Rowling. Es un cumplido, sí, pués significa que tienes talento y podrías ser más rica que la reina de Inglaterra. But why can't people call you the next Palahniuk, Thompson, Salinger, Kerouac, Toni Morrison? Supongo que porque dije que quiero ser rica y famosa...
So, should you be a whore? Podrías vivir con el dinero y sabiendo que pudiste haber hecho algo diferente, algo completamente tuyo. O puedes seguir tu pasión, tu sueño, sans lana (who knows, maybe you'll get lucky--like Rowling herself). What to do? Se tiene que decidir jóven. Sin embargo, existe el sentimiento que surge de haber creado algo... aunque no sea lo que tenías en mente originalmente, it still becomes yours in the process of making it. Te apegas a la creación y te encariñas, because you poured a lot of yourself in it. Entonces al fin y al cabo, cómo saber si te prostituíste? Creo que sólo sabes si al final de todo, se forma un nudo en tu garganta, un mal sabor de boca, un dolor que viene de la insatisfacción. No cualquiera puede vivir con eso. Yo todavía no llego al momento decisivo. Por ahora, hay que dejarlo así: when the time comes, I'll know.


"Let's admit we're all whores..." (Michael Ondaatje, 2007)

4 comments:

  1. i hope youre right about that. i really do. of course the difference is not HAVING the money, or getting paid; it's whether the money is the objective. theres nothing wrong with doing something purely for its own sake and then getting paid a lot.

    but i really think that knowing the difference is hard. we can fool ourselves about a lot of things, and confuse ourselves about our motives. the human need to self-justify is endless, as are our powers to conceal that need. at least, thats the case inside MY head.

    which, incidentally, is maybe one of the things i think is in salinger's head. he CAN be sure that everything he has written since catcher is for HIM, and not for fame or money, because he doesnt publish it. (bastard.)

    anyway. i hope your last comment is right. for myself, i am less sure that i WILL know when the time comes. i hope that you know what youre talking about. =o)

    Signed,
    Immanuel Kant

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  2. I guess maybe I WON'T know, Immanuel...But let's get some positivity flowin', a'ight? :)

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  3. hahahahaha!
    just stay broke. its the only way to be sure.
    hahahahahah!

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  4. I believe you just do what you feel like doing and what you need to do to make yourself happy. People might label you for it, or people might think you are the next best original thing (which is still a label). But in the end, I don't believe in self-soul-mutilation just to get the fame, you might enjoy it for a while, but then you'll just end up a suicide case like many before us. I mean, sure, obviously your road to personal success will require certain "political sacrifices" that involve ideas and concerns with a public that needs you to please them, and some might do it, while others stick up the finger to them.

    Point of the matter is... If you believe you are creative enough, and I know you are, velita, and you mr. greek Immanuel Kant (sorry, I have an obsession with everything Hellenic at this point in my life)... you will eventually succeed, perhaps not with the general Harry Potter public (which is the entire world)... but what would you rather...be remembered as the girl that the modern world praises who wrote lets say... Twilight (which is the most horrific piece of text I have ever read in my entire life, what up with character development??) or, something like Kurt Vonnegut, an excellent writer, quite famous, but you gotta be a frequent more philosophical reader to know the name.
    I'd rather be known for my literary work than the goddamn shining in the sun stupid fake vampire hunk.
    I dunno...
    I'm not whoring myself to a world of cynicism (greek word yeey! Kυνισμός!)
    Anyway, pios milai! ποιος μιλάy (look who's talking in greek) I might be doing some work in films this coming year... I might have to sell my soul to the industry if there is a lot of money involved... tun tun tuuunn... we'll see what happens...
    I love you both!

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